Fuck This & Be Kind

I feel like shit. Uni has screwed me over. That is not entirely true. One assessment – a pass/fail assessment – fucked my unit up and caused me to fail my unit. I so angry. I am going to spend $3000 on one unit to do one assessment all over again because I messed it up. This is such a waste of time. I have shown I can do the unit and get high marks in all other assessments so I can clearly show I understand the learning outcomes. Fuck this. They were so harsh and intimating and horrid. It makes me so angry that people treat people like this. They were not compassionate or understanding or even respectful. I understand people may be like, “Welcome to the real world” but fuck that. Why can’t people be kind? Or just not complete dickheads. If you can ever just be nice, just be fucking nice. I feel uninspired and awful and like nothing and no one should make anyone feel like that. Fuck that. This tiny little thing has made my life feel meaningless which makes no sense. My life is still groovy. This one unit means nothing. And to be fair I worked so hard at this unit and fucked it up and they fucked up and everything is fucked. Fucky McFuck Face. This is me being really angry. I am so bad at being angry. But still. I do not want to repeat the stupid fucking unit. It would be such a waste of time. But whatever, you can’t fight some shit. You can try but you can’t fight everything, or at least you won’t win everything. It is shit but yeah. Sometimes life sucks, like life can fucking suck. But usually not all of life. Just a little bit. And that can make everything feel like shit. Don’t let one bit of existence fuck over the rest. Other things make life okay and bearable whilst one stupid fucking thing fades into the stupid fucking distance. Just keep on going and breathing and shit will get better. Now this is not necessarily my terrible decision or maybe it is but I don’t know, it feels like someone’s terrible decision or just stupid and dumb and awful and fuck and whatever. If you feel like shit, try not to, cause fuck that, fuck someone else or something else making you feel like shit. In my teenage mind, I’d like to say, you rock, they suck and for fuck sake the world needs to get it shit together. Not necessarily around my one stupid unit failure but about everything. Everyone just needs to be kind for just a little bit. Not even polite. Just kind.

Sorry for the language but fuck this. Drink some champagne.


Daily Driving Terrible Decisions

Though it may seem dumb or trivial or maybe even stereotypic, I make terrible decisions when driving. Many of you will sigh or tut at my stupidity but other’s will relate to the greatest extents. Take joy in my idiocy.

1. I Can Make That Parallel Park:

When I was learning to drive I was pretty good at parallel parking. I had confidence and swagger when I did it. I also had a very experienced driving instructor talking me through the process every time. Now I am on my own. I cannot do it. At all. I should be able to. I have a small car (one day it’ll be a jeep wrangler, one day) and I do the steps somewhat correctly. I go forward until I’m inline with the other car and reverse and all of that but I just cannot pull it off. And I am very aware that I look pretty useless when I attempt to do it, fail, attempt again and just drive off to find another spot. Now, sensible people, they would practice, whenever there is an opportunity, seize it! Yeah, that’s not me. Some opportunities I am all for seizing. Eating a kilo burrito, going for a body surf in the rain, seeing if I can do a non-stop tv series marathon (side note: would definitely recommend Boston Legal or Buffy The Vampire Slayer). But perfecting my parallel parking is not a seize-able opportunity for me so I stick to what us not so proactive people do and drive around until a more accessible spot becomes available. It’s pretty average looking when someone else is in the car though.

2. Loosing My Car In Car Parks:

I get distracted. A lot. So when I park my car I often do not take note of the exact location. I usually can find the area of my car and I never forget what car park complex I leave my car in but the exact spot, I am not great at. I should probably take better note of this but let’s be honest I am not going to change.

3. Thinking A Different Car Is My Car:

This aligns with my second point quite well. I do not know my license plate by memory and if there is a car of the same make, model and colour I somehow always walk up to it. Following this, I look in my window and begin to stress that all my stuff has been stolen, and then when I try to unlock my car I relax because clearly my car is a different car. This happens more often than one would like.

4. Thinking I Am Close Enough To The Drive-Thru/Ticket Machine:

I am average sized and yet I still park so far away from whatever I am trying to reach out of the window. To resolve this I have to unbuckle my seatbelt and get half my body outside the window to get whatever it is I am attempting to get. I don’t know how short people do it. Probably with forward planning.

5. Shit, It’s Yellow! Do I Stop Or Go?

If you haven’t noted, I am pretty new to driving and I play this game where if I am approaching a set of traffic lights I pinpoint when I would just go straight through them. I feel whatever my decision, it is usually a poor one. This might just be because of my fun but quite irritating self-critiquing trait or more likely because I just make the wrong decision every single time.