Terrible Decisions After A Break Up 

Stalking them on social media:

Do not stalk them on social media. This is a terrible decisions. Whatever you see will make you unhappy. If they are seemingly having a good time (which a clever ex will do), you will feel awful, if they are posting lyrics of an old Blink 182 song, you will feel awful that they are struggling. Unless you are super sinister and take joy out of their pain. Either way, don’t do it. My exact advice, in a relationship never make it “Facebook official” because the first person to ditch that will make the other feel awful. Regardless of how in love you are, statistics show you’ll probably break up. Keep it off Facebook. With this, do not block or unfriend your ex,it is petty. But avoid looking at your newsfeed for a while and unfollow them from Instagram and Twitter. You do not need to see what they are up to. I would also probably get them off your Snapchat. Or alternatively never ever look at their story and just Gatsby them (Gatsby: when you post something publicly specifically for one person to see). You want to look like you are having the best time ever (or no time at all, whatever, as long as you do not look like you’re having a terrible time). Also looking like you are having a really good time will probably make you have a much better tine. If you want to post a picture of you at the beach or at a bar or whatever, you will have to go do that and essentially have a good time whilst doing it.

Looking at old photos of you with them or reading old love letters:

Do not throw this stuff away. It is lovely that you and someone else felt this way once but right now, you do not need a reminder that your ex has the potential to be gorgeous. Just pop it in a box and into storage. It is not for now. Don’t delete the photos off your phone. Just take new photos. Gain inner strength to be able to appreciate that time but to not cling to it. Don’t look at the photo at 1:30am crying to “your song”.

Texting them constantly:

After breaking up you can go cold turkey and not text and not see them and just get them out of your life,  you might of broken up but still acting like a couple or you might be going into a great (or terrible) friendship. It might surprise you but all these are totally viable options to move forward. Just remind yourself, you are broken up, gain a tiny bit of distance and gain an element of yourself back. The easiest way to do this is taking an hour or more to reply. I would recommend 2-3. Not every single text but a majority. Nothing will change in that time. The text will still be there. Just take a bit longer. It lets you think through your response and just gives you some time to do something else and not looking at your phone waiting for them to reply.

Hooking up straight away:

Yay! You’re single! Don’t go sticking your tongue down someone else’s throat straight away. Take a few weeks. No one will listen to this advice. I probably wouldn’t listen to it. There are many benefits of a rebound. But you usually just feel awful afterwards or at some point. Just give it sometime. Or at least try.

Any calling in the middle of the night crying:

It is a shame I have to point this one out. Do not do it. Terrible decision.

Bad mouthing your ex to your friends:

Try to seem like the nicest person ever, regardless of how you actually  feel or what your ex is saying about you. You always want to seem like the good guy and you don’t want to be having a big bitch about how they always wore socks when shagging. Just leave it alone. Be kind. It will pay off.

All and all, chill. Go with the flow and be a good, nice person. I know it’s hard but you just have to take life 15 minutes at a time. And even though it seems like you can’t breathe and you need this person – you don’t. You are magnificent. Do not let anyone make you feel any different.

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Post Love & Avoiding Terrible Decisions

I make terrible decisions when it comes to dating. My last two partners moved to the other side of the country and I am really not over the most recent one leaving. Along with this, almost all of my hookups I regret. So my solution to avoid these terrible decisions is classifying myself as “Post Love” and I recommend you do the same. Post Love is essentially putting relationships, meaningless hookups and crushes on the back burner. Not bothering with them in any way or form. You have so many other things going on and you do not need the emotional turmoil. There is no fun in that and I have no energy for that. Many people push the belief that the memories and feelings and all of that is worth the heart break at the end. But is it really? I have a great time on my own – I don’t need someone else leaching off that.

Relationships are just too much effort for not enough return. Fighting, stress and general existence with another person is tedious and repetitive. I don’t know about you but I do not need someone else entertaining me or making me happy. I am mighty fine on my own. I’m pretty great (most of the time).

It is important at this point to note that love in this context is sometimes synonymous with lust. With this, I don’t feel I need to go into great detail about random hookups and the terrible decisions that follow. They do not define you in any which way. If you have had heaps it does not reflect negatively (or positively) on your character. They simply mean nothing. Which is great sometimes. But usually at some point will be regretted or classed in the “terrible decision” file.

Per usual, you do not need to take this grade A advice. I probably wouldn’t. Just make sure you refer back to this at some point and feel slightly more satisfied that I agree that you have made a terrible decision but it does not change anything about who you are. Either it be a failed relationship or a dodgy hookup, it doesn’t matter. Don’t stress, the feeling of terrible decision making passes over time. Or you could do what I’m trying to do and weigh less value of the trivial pursuit of love and lust and label yourself as “Post Love” instead.