Daily Driving Terrible Decisions

Though it may seem dumb or trivial or maybe even stereotypic, I make terrible decisions when driving. Many of you will sigh or tut at my stupidity but other’s will relate to the greatest extents. Take joy in my idiocy.

1. I Can Make That Parallel Park:

When I was learning to drive I was pretty good at parallel parking. I had confidence and swagger when I did it. I also had a very experienced driving instructor talking me through the process every time. Now I am on my own. I cannot do it. At all. I should be able to. I have a small car (one day it’ll be a jeep wrangler, one day) and I do the steps somewhat correctly. I go forward until I’m inline with the other car and reverse and all of that but I just cannot pull it off. And I am very aware that I look pretty useless when I attempt to do it, fail, attempt again and just drive off to find another spot. Now, sensible people, they would practice, whenever there is an opportunity, seize it! Yeah, that’s not me. Some opportunities I am all for seizing. Eating a kilo burrito, going for a body surf in the rain, seeing if I can do a non-stop tv series marathon (side note: would definitely recommend Boston Legal or Buffy The Vampire Slayer). But perfecting my parallel parking is not a seize-able opportunity for me so I stick to what us not so proactive people do and drive around until a more accessible spot becomes available. It’s pretty average looking when someone else is in the car though.

2. Loosing My Car In Car Parks:

I get distracted. A lot. So when I park my car I often do not take note of the exact location. I usually can find the area of my car and I never forget what car park complex I leave my car in but the exact spot, I am not great at. I should probably take better note of this but let’s be honest I am not going to change.

3. Thinking A Different Car Is My Car:

This aligns with my second point quite well. I do not know my license plate by memory and if there is a car of the same make, model and colour I somehow always walk up to it. Following this, I look in my window and begin to stress that all my stuff has been stolen, and then when I try to unlock my car I relax because clearly my car is a different car. This happens more often than one would like.

4. Thinking I Am Close Enough To The Drive-Thru/Ticket Machine:

I am average sized and yet I still park so far away from whatever I am trying to reach out of the window. To resolve this I have to unbuckle my seatbelt and get half my body outside the window to get whatever it is I am attempting to get. I don’t know how short people do it. Probably with forward planning.

5. Shit, It’s Yellow! Do I Stop Or Go?

If you haven’t noted, I am pretty new to driving and I play this game where if I am approaching a set of traffic lights I pinpoint when I would just go straight through them. I feel whatever my decision, it is usually a poor one. This might just be because of my fun but quite irritating self-critiquing trait or more likely because I just make the wrong decision every single time.

Post Love & Avoiding Terrible Decisions

I make terrible decisions when it comes to dating. My last two partners moved to the other side of the country and I am really not over the most recent one leaving. Along with this, almost all of my hookups I regret. So my solution to avoid these terrible decisions is classifying myself as “Post Love” and I recommend you do the same. Post Love is essentially putting relationships, meaningless hookups and crushes on the back burner. Not bothering with them in any way or form. You have so many other things going on and you do not need the emotional turmoil. There is no fun in that and I have no energy for that. Many people push the belief that the memories and feelings and all of that is worth the heart break at the end. But is it really? I have a great time on my own – I don’t need someone else leaching off that.

Relationships are just too much effort for not enough return. Fighting, stress and general existence with another person is tedious and repetitive. I don’t know about you but I do not need someone else entertaining me or making me happy. I am mighty fine on my own. I’m pretty great (most of the time).

It is important at this point to note that love in this context is sometimes synonymous with lust. With this, I don’t feel I need to go into great detail about random hookups and the terrible decisions that follow. They do not define you in any which way. If you have had heaps it does not reflect negatively (or positively) on your character. They simply mean nothing. Which is great sometimes. But usually at some point will be regretted or classed in the “terrible decision” file.

Per usual, you do not need to take this grade A advice. I probably wouldn’t. Just make sure you refer back to this at some point and feel slightly more satisfied that I agree that you have made a terrible decision but it does not change anything about who you are. Either it be a failed relationship or a dodgy hookup, it doesn’t matter. Don’t stress, the feeling of terrible decision making passes over time. Or you could do what I’m trying to do and weigh less value of the trivial pursuit of love and lust and label yourself as “Post Love” instead.