Twenty Terrible Fashion Decisions

1. Wearing heels on a night that involves standing for over 5 hours – just go with flats and be more fun
2. Wearing shorts or skirts in winter and thinking you’ll be fine because you have a big coat on – yes, you will look excellent but freeze
3. Any pants that can be made into shorts by unzipping at the knee – come on lads (or ladies), come on
4. Black tights under denim shorts – there’s a reason this style should of stayed in the 90’s
5. Any clashing patterns – just as a certain rule, only wear one pattern at a time (I often a don’t wear patterns)
6. People who wear incorrect undergarments suiting their outfit (e.g. underwear line being seen in leggings) – it shouldn’t bother me but it really really does, choose your undies wisely
7. Any animal prints (as my brother says “the only time that cheetah is appropriate is when it is on a cheetah”) – it makes you look like a wannabe cougar no matter what your age
8. Lots of bright colours – you’re not a rainbow
9. Anyone who wears a hat on a plane, I do not understand this, why do you need a hat on a plane? If you can afford to get on a plane, you can afford to buy a hat from wherever you are going. You never need a hat on a plane. Stop wearing them.
10. Old droopy rashies (Australian for rash shirt – swimming t-shirt) – they make you and your family look like you’ve been incredibly over weight and lost heaps of weight and now can use your excess skin as a massive stomach tongue
11. High waisted shorts that make your ass look longer than the Nile and a weird camel toe crotch region – I hope you have someone in your life that loves you enough to tell you how bad you look
12. Clip on ties – if you have made it to second base and are making out and he or she finds out your wearing a clip on tie, the passion will instantly fade and they will see you as the eight year old you are
13. Any clothing with a large image of an animal on it – grow up, it is not fun, it looks stupid
14. Those weird leggings with slits in them – they are just terrible, why would you ever wear them?
15. Tracks with a baggie sweatshirt – you have to be really really attractive to pull it off, chances are, you’re not
16. Be careful with all vests – they are very regrettable
17. Dress to the dress code – not above or beyond it
18. Lots of sunglasses look terrible on you – choose wisely
19. Wearing runners with jeans – no matter who you are, it looks terrible, dear god stop, it is so terrible
20. The 90’s t-shirt with button up shirt over the top – this can sometimes look okay but usually look terrible, I’d suggest you don’t go with it, especially you have none at home to laugh at you

Stop making these mistakes people. Grow some fashion common sense. Now.

Yay.

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