Going Out & Some Terrible Decisions

Going out is over-rated and yet for some of us if we don’t go out we feel lonely and saddened. Last semester I went out a lot. Like every weekend. Go out, get drunk, have a good time, repeat. At least that’s what we all think happens. We all forgot the terrible parts in between. For example, when I go out I spend way too much money. Every time. I always buy the first round for the group. I love doing this. I don’t know why I just do. And I then expect for my mates to buy the next few rounds. I am a university student. My mates have no money (nor do I for that matter) – they never buy drinks. I have some girlfriends who manipulate guys and get them to buy them drinks. I hate this. I can buy my own drinks, thanks. Even when a gorgeous guy asks to buy me a drink, I still say no and then chat to him. With this, if it is an awkward night or my mates are being boring, I buy the group another round or figure something out to cheer up the mood and have a better time. This is cash-dollar-bills down the drain. I have a few more ritual terrible decisions I make when I go out. If I hook up with anyone it is a terrible decision – point blank. I often decide it’s a fun idea to walk or run home. I never wear layers when I should, I usually wear fewer clothes, it is a dumb idea but whatever, I do not learn from my mistakes. If I did, this blog would disappear fast. I stay out way too late, cause if you don’t go hard, why bother going. I am always going to support drinking. And dancing. And having a good time. You don’t need to go out every night. Down evening are needed. Do not feel shit for staying in. And don’t put pressure on yourself to go out.

Be a badass – if you go out or not.

Terrible Food Decisions

I don’t know about you but sometimes I make terrible decisions. Like all the time. Sometimes I make terrible food decisions. Not always. Just sometimes. In particular, when I order Subway I always ask for a heap of jalapeños. Always. I am okay with spice but not great with spice. I don’t know why. Not just from Subway to be honest. I eat jalapeños whenever I can. I don’t even think I like them. I don’t know why I do it.

Fuck This & Be Kind

I feel like shit. Uni has screwed me over. That is not entirely true. One assessment – a pass/fail assessment – fucked my unit up and caused me to fail my unit. I so angry. I am going to spend $3000 on one unit to do one assessment all over again because I messed it up. This is such a waste of time. I have shown I can do the unit and get high marks in all other assessments so I can clearly show I understand the learning outcomes. Fuck this. They were so harsh and intimating and horrid. It makes me so angry that people treat people like this. They were not compassionate or understanding or even respectful. I understand people may be like, “Welcome to the real world” but fuck that. Why can’t people be kind? Or just not complete dickheads. If you can ever just be nice, just be fucking nice. I feel uninspired and awful and like nothing and no one should make anyone feel like that. Fuck that. This tiny little thing has made my life feel meaningless which makes no sense. My life is still groovy. This one unit means nothing. And to be fair I worked so hard at this unit and fucked it up and they fucked up and everything is fucked. Fucky McFuck Face. This is me being really angry. I am so bad at being angry. But still. I do not want to repeat the stupid fucking unit. It would be such a waste of time. But whatever, you can’t fight some shit. You can try but you can’t fight everything, or at least you won’t win everything. It is shit but yeah. Sometimes life sucks, like life can fucking suck. But usually not all of life. Just a little bit. And that can make everything feel like shit. Don’t let one bit of existence fuck over the rest. Other things make life okay and bearable whilst one stupid fucking thing fades into the stupid fucking distance. Just keep on going and breathing and shit will get better. Now this is not necessarily my terrible decision or maybe it is but I don’t know, it feels like someone’s terrible decision or just stupid and dumb and awful and fuck and whatever. If you feel like shit, try not to, cause fuck that, fuck someone else or something else making you feel like shit. In my teenage mind, I’d like to say, you rock, they suck and for fuck sake the world needs to get it shit together. Not necessarily around my one stupid unit failure but about everything. Everyone just needs to be kind for just a little bit. Not even polite. Just kind.

Sorry for the language but fuck this. Drink some champagne.

Terrible Decisions After A Break Up 

Stalking them on social media:

Do not stalk them on social media. This is a terrible decisions. Whatever you see will make you unhappy. If they are seemingly having a good time (which a clever ex will do), you will feel awful, if they are posting lyrics of an old Blink 182 song, you will feel awful that they are struggling. Unless you are super sinister and take joy out of their pain. Either way, don’t do it. My exact advice, in a relationship never make it “Facebook official” because the first person to ditch that will make the other feel awful. Regardless of how in love you are, statistics show you’ll probably break up. Keep it off Facebook. With this, do not block or unfriend your ex,it is petty. But avoid looking at your newsfeed for a while and unfollow them from Instagram and Twitter. You do not need to see what they are up to. I would also probably get them off your Snapchat. Or alternatively never ever look at their story and just Gatsby them (Gatsby: when you post something publicly specifically for one person to see). You want to look like you are having the best time ever (or no time at all, whatever, as long as you do not look like you’re having a terrible time). Also looking like you are having a really good time will probably make you have a much better tine. If you want to post a picture of you at the beach or at a bar or whatever, you will have to go do that and essentially have a good time whilst doing it.

Looking at old photos of you with them or reading old love letters:

Do not throw this stuff away. It is lovely that you and someone else felt this way once but right now, you do not need a reminder that your ex has the potential to be gorgeous. Just pop it in a box and into storage. It is not for now. Don’t delete the photos off your phone. Just take new photos. Gain inner strength to be able to appreciate that time but to not cling to it. Don’t look at the photo at 1:30am crying to “your song”.

Texting them constantly:

After breaking up you can go cold turkey and not text and not see them and just get them out of your life,  you might of broken up but still acting like a couple or you might be going into a great (or terrible) friendship. It might surprise you but all these are totally viable options to move forward. Just remind yourself, you are broken up, gain a tiny bit of distance and gain an element of yourself back. The easiest way to do this is taking an hour or more to reply. I would recommend 2-3. Not every single text but a majority. Nothing will change in that time. The text will still be there. Just take a bit longer. It lets you think through your response and just gives you some time to do something else and not looking at your phone waiting for them to reply.

Hooking up straight away:

Yay! You’re single! Don’t go sticking your tongue down someone else’s throat straight away. Take a few weeks. No one will listen to this advice. I probably wouldn’t listen to it. There are many benefits of a rebound. But you usually just feel awful afterwards or at some point. Just give it sometime. Or at least try.

Any calling in the middle of the night crying:

It is a shame I have to point this one out. Do not do it. Terrible decision.

Bad mouthing your ex to your friends:

Try to seem like the nicest person ever, regardless of how you actually  feel or what your ex is saying about you. You always want to seem like the good guy and you don’t want to be having a big bitch about how they always wore socks when shagging. Just leave it alone. Be kind. It will pay off.

All and all, chill. Go with the flow and be a good, nice person. I know it’s hard but you just have to take life 15 minutes at a time. And even though it seems like you can’t breathe and you need this person – you don’t. You are magnificent. Do not let anyone make you feel any different.

Terrible Decisions & Drinking (not always a terrible decision)

Now, I do not condone drinking. I love drinking. Very, very much. But if I’m honest, it is not always the best decision ever. This is an overly generic list – although, very relatable. Please enjoy.

Beer: 

“I’ll just have a few drinks with the lads (or ladies), no worries, not a big one” 

Next minute it’s 1am and you are a goner. This is assuming you have not played beer pong…if you have you have pre-emptively written off the night – good on you for forward thinking.

 

Wine:

“Should we get a glass or a bottle? Probably a bottle.”

Wine is very sneaky when it gets you. Always assuming it is on your side. No. It will make you an honest foul.

 

Champagne: 

“Yay! Lets celebrate that minor achievement with a bottle of bubbles!” 

Always a lovely choice but after one bottle, it is always another, and then another drink and before you know it, you are waiting for you friend to stop throwing up in the really nice restaurant or bar’s you have chosen to celebrate whatever in. Champagne is French for, as Taylor Swift would say, “a nightmare dress as a day dream” (Okay it might not be but may as well be).

 

Cider:

“Oh, I’ll just have a cider.”

Cider is not a responsible choice? It still has a normal amount of alcohol in it. You’re not fooling anyone.

 

 

Vodka:

“I’m so tired. I’ll have a vodka red bull. $15 really? Okay I’ll get 3.”

Ever so expensive, taste ever so terrible and yet a very efficient choice. Ticks many boxes.

 

Tequila:

“Lets do shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!”

Do not do shots. I am a great supporter of drinking but do not do shots. Terrible Decision.

 

Rum:

“Oh, this has rum in it? Well, I guess I’m a pirate.”

People often forget about white rums and how often they are used in cocktails. No, this does not make you anything like a pirate. You are nothing like Jack Sparrow.

 

Bourbon:

“I’m manly. I’ll have a bourbon and coke mate. Cheers.”

Drink what you want to drink. Do not drink based on your masculinity (or femininity for that matter).

 

Midori:

“Midori and lemonade please! Yes, I’m over 18! Haha.”

This is what 16 year olds drink when they shouldn’t be drinking. Stop it. Drink a real drink. For fuck sake.

 

Sambuca:

“Last time I drank Sambuca I threw up everywhere! Haha! That was back when I was 19. I’m sure it won’t happen again!”

Yes it will. Do not drink it. Ever. No.

 

Whisky:

“Is this whisky or scotch?”

Very minimal to note. I do not drink whisky often. Whatever.

 

Scotch:

“I only drink the finest scotch’s.”

Yeah, to be fair, you have paid a lot for this scotch, you can be a bit arrogant about it. But I will give you no extra respect because of it.”

 

Be wise in your choices. And have a good time.

Twenty Terrible Fashion Decisions

1. Wearing heels on a night that involves standing for over 5 hours – just go with flats and be more fun
2. Wearing shorts or skirts in winter and thinking you’ll be fine because you have a big coat on – yes, you will look excellent but freeze
3. Any pants that can be made into shorts by unzipping at the knee – come on lads (or ladies), come on
4. Black tights under denim shorts – there’s a reason this style should of stayed in the 90’s
5. Any clashing patterns – just as a certain rule, only wear one pattern at a time (I often a don’t wear patterns)
6. People who wear incorrect undergarments suiting their outfit (e.g. underwear line being seen in leggings) – it shouldn’t bother me but it really really does, choose your undies wisely
7. Any animal prints (as my brother says “the only time that cheetah is appropriate is when it is on a cheetah”) – it makes you look like a wannabe cougar no matter what your age
8. Lots of bright colours – you’re not a rainbow
9. Anyone who wears a hat on a plane, I do not understand this, why do you need a hat on a plane? If you can afford to get on a plane, you can afford to buy a hat from wherever you are going. You never need a hat on a plane. Stop wearing them.
10. Old droopy rashies (Australian for rash shirt – swimming t-shirt) – they make you and your family look like you’ve been incredibly over weight and lost heaps of weight and now can use your excess skin as a massive stomach tongue
11. High waisted shorts that make your ass look longer than the Nile and a weird camel toe crotch region – I hope you have someone in your life that loves you enough to tell you how bad you look
12. Clip on ties – if you have made it to second base and are making out and he or she finds out your wearing a clip on tie, the passion will instantly fade and they will see you as the eight year old you are
13. Any clothing with a large image of an animal on it – grow up, it is not fun, it looks stupid
14. Those weird leggings with slits in them – they are just terrible, why would you ever wear them?
15. Tracks with a baggie sweatshirt – you have to be really really attractive to pull it off, chances are, you’re not
16. Be careful with all vests – they are very regrettable
17. Dress to the dress code – not above or beyond it
18. Lots of sunglasses look terrible on you – choose wisely
19. Wearing runners with jeans – no matter who you are, it looks terrible, dear god stop, it is so terrible
20. The 90’s t-shirt with button up shirt over the top – this can sometimes look okay but usually look terrible, I’d suggest you don’t go with it, especially you have none at home to laugh at you

Stop making these mistakes people. Grow some fashion common sense. Now.

Yay.

Ten Text That Seem Like A Good Idea At The Time But Are Always Regretted:

Ten Text That Seem Like A Good Idea At The Time But Are Always Regretted:

Everyone has sent a text that is regretted at one point or another, whether it is immediate, in a few days, months or even years. This list is aimed at young adults but I feel like anyone who texts often enough will relate to this. Although there are no citations, I am sure you will understand each one of these texts and I hope you make better choices from my advice; although if you are anything like me, you will continue to make terrible text choices and carry much regret. But at least here is a heads up. This is a list of the top ten texts that are always going to be regretted no matter how you word them or when you send them.

 

  1. The Text To Make Plans:

This text often occurs at the beginning of the week when you are looking over a week of work or study and your weekend is pretty empty. A weekend approaching with no plans should make you excited and happy to relax but sometimes it does give you a sense of loneliness and meaninglessness. Of course, you try to come up with a solution by texting a few people to see what they are up to. This is pretty casual and non-anxiety provoking right? Wrong. Though this text may not be immediately regretted but as the weekend approaches the feeling of dread grows and the realization that pants and shoes will need to be worn at some point over the next few days, not because you have to due to societies opinions upon appropriate clothing but that you have actually planned to go into the outside world to pretend to have a good time with people that you may or may not like just to feel a sense of social achievement. This text is often followed by: The Last Minute Cancellation Text.

  1. The Last Minute Cancellation Text:

This text is very conflicting; for some people they feel no guilt and relax after this text is sent but others, like myself, feel instant guilt and stress, as I now have to remember why I could not make the plans that I organize to indulge my own self-loathing and then not blow my own cover next time I see these people. It is also an awful feeling that you have taken up some portion of someone’s time to then not see them – you have no idea what they bailed on to make these plans or if they were really excited to see you because clearly you are a catch, or if they had to rearrange their whole existence for these plans. I mean, you never know.

  1. The Drunk Text To The Ex:

This text is not always instantly regretted but most often is regretted the next day. Hopefully you do not send the “I miss you” or “I still love you text” but so often, regardless of how you actually feel, if you are several drinks in and the people you are out with are boring you, this is a text that so often gets sent. The first problem with this text is that you think it is a better decision than a drunken phone call. You would be wrong. Phone calls are often not answered after midnight (which is usually when these calls and texts are conducted). With this, if you are at a club you usually can’t be heard by your ex and that makes it all the better when they answer to you talking in great depth about the one time you talk about getting a pet together but decided it would be too much responsibility but how you really should of gotten that pet because that would of kept you together because it would of helped you show them the love you have for them…or something like that. Always call. It’s less permanent and damaging to your recovering ego. This text will make that hangover that much worse when you wake up the next morning.

  1. The Sober Text To The Ex:

This is a sneaky text that you construct over a few hours. Because you have thought about this text over an extended period of time, you think it won’t be regretted, you have convenience yourself this is a good idea. If your manipulative mind is good enough, you will probably start to think this is the only way you you’ll achieve your goal; which in this case is usually in hope to get back together. As I said, this text is so often thought about very thoroughly and you have convinced yourself this is a good decision. You are wrong, so very wrong. As soon as you hit send, you will feel instant regret. You will watch your phone non-stop until your ex replies and then you worry about what it says and then how long you should wait to reply. To be honest, it is a lot of hassle and over-thinking and usually very little reward. Avoid the whole situation. Don’t send the text.

  1. The Morning After Text:

Much like the morning after pill, this text is never fun, often providing the sender with feeling of nausea, anxiety and regret. After a night of fun with a stranger or a short-term partner this next text is never good to send because whatever you say will probably be poorly received. This is 100% circumstantial. And unfortunately due to societies perceptions dependent on if you’re a male or female but this is not as critical as one would expect. You can be just as clingy or misconstrued whether you are a woman or man. It is very hard to construct a good well-meaning text, so my solution: don’t send one. If they are interested they will text, if they aren’t they won’t. This is in the hope that not both of you have read this. In that case, you may need to send in hopes to not scare. My advice, “That was fun, maybe we could do it together sometime.” No more, no less.

  1. The Lie To Your Parents:

No matter what age you are it is always a bad idea to send this text. Much like the following “The Text To Make Plans” there is often a lot of memory involved. If you are seventeen and saying you are staying at your friend’s house but actually sneaking into your secret boyfriend/girlfriend’s room or if you are thirty-five and explaining to your parents of why you can’t come over this weekend to see their new patio furniture – it is always a regret. Usually this is long-term though, you regret this at a later date. This is the one text that I probably still would send but definitely make note of so you don’t create drama and therefore regret.

  1. The “I Texted The Wrong Person” Text:

This text is pretty obvious. As soon as you text the wrong person it is always a crucial secretive text, it is never the casual text asking for an address or how someone’s day is. No, it is always when you saying something you probably shouldn’t about someone else or when you’re sending that saucy text to your partner. And it is always miss-sent to someone of great importance like your boss or Dad or the exact person you don’t want reading that text. This is close to unavoidable unless you decide to only send things that you are okay with your grandmother reading (i.e. kind and classy, not rude or bitter).

  1. The Text After The Big Fight:

This text is very interesting. It could be with a friend, family member or partner. This text will often involve either a threat or an apology. Both usually are not the best responses. If you are threatening something and it is not received well or even if it is, sending threats are dumb because if you do not follow through you could be labeled as never following through; so threatening to your partner that you are not coming home if they don’t do something you want them to do, or if you are telling a family that you’ll never speak to them again – it is always a dumb idea, never ever threatening someone you care about, it will be regretted either instantly or within given time. The apology is sometimes matched with resentment and therefore regret. If you do not think you are in the wrong and yet apologise to move past this, it will often result in negative feelings. When initiating contact after a big fight with someone, take it slow and calm, ask to see the person face-to-face and keep your cool because ultimately you want to overcome the issue without any regret.

  1. The Inappropriately Asking Your Co-Worker Out Text:

Sometimes we think we are receiving signals from a colleague and we really aren’t, or maybe it is a harmless flirt at the water cooler. You might decide that this might be potential for a date or hopefully a full-fled relationship. That is okay, (dependent on what the rules in your workplace are). Just make sure you are extremely careful and never ever ask this person out through text. If you feel the chemistry and think it is worth risking dating someone you work with (I recommend you don’t) always ask in person – always. You do not need an electronic record that you have asked someone you work with out, you just don’t. And at some point you will most likely regret it, either when they say no or when you break up and the ammunition of possible sexual harassment or inappropriate communications within the workplace is just not worth pressing send.

  1. Most Texts After 11:00pm

Usually people send these texts are because they are lonely. It is often sent multiple times when you are in your twenties and thirties. There will be nights where you are bored, lonely or maybe even a bit desperate. You text a “close friend” to come over to hang out but you and them both know you are not going to hang out and it all goes south from there. That text you will regret. If it is after 11:00pm, just go to bed; don’t risk taking a friendship further because you are lonely and want to cuddle or do even more. It will do more damage than good. If you are still interested in the prospect in the morning, send the text then.